Its Easy Being Green

My wife Adriana and I feel strongly about the need to be environmentially aware. We have tried over the last couple of years to become more green. Sometimes we do a pretty good job and other times, it would give Ed Begley Jr. a heart attack if he knew what we were doing. Well today I have decided that enough is enough, it is time to get serious. Therefore here is my 5 point plan I call Operation Green Go.. It goes into effect immediately:

There will be no more diapers used in this household. They say each diaper we use will be in the landfills until the dinosaurs come back, and that a kid will use thousands in his or her "soiling themselves stage". So I have ripped out all the carpet in the house and we will now have wall to wall newspaper flooring. That way Joey can roam freely and mark his territory as he deems fit. The paper will then be picked up and sent to be recycled... Nicole might just be able to get that puppy she wants so badly, after all.

I have also set up several barrels outside that I will use to collect rain water that we will use to bath the kids. During the monsoon season we should be good to go. During the dry season however, we might have some issues. On the brightside, I wont have to worry about the girls having boyfriends anytime soon.

Thirdly, I am going to figure out a way to rig our electrical system to a giant hampster wheel . To get the strogest hampsters possible I have contacted A - Rods personal trainer to "prescribe" them something. I have also contacted the professor from Gilligans island to handle the project. I mean the man made a radio out of a coconut, he can surely handle this! After all, his only weakness appears to be boat fixing.<
Next, we will no longer need Air Conditioning. I have sent away for some organically grown loin cloths, to be used by all during the summer months. Call me Tarazan King of Green baby! Dont worry I have not forgotten about the girls, Im gonna have the professor bring along some of his famous coconuts to help them cover there girl things.

Finally, this family will no longer need the use of motorized vehicles. I have ordered side cars for the girl's wiggly bikes, so that we can get around town. I think I will have Nat Nat be my personal driver.

FLINTSTONES MEET THE FLINTSTONES

So there is my 5 point plan, pretty easy, right? If any of you want to go green, I will do consultations on a commision basis.