Whats With All The Anger.

This afternoon I left work for what seemed like a quick and easy trip to the grocery store. The trip was quick, but it certainly was not easy. What transpired, while not earth shattering was definitely eye opening, and may lead to a major life philosophy change for this young father.

The first incident happened while waiting at the traffic light next to my store. I was the first car waiting at the light, and in the millisecond it took my eyes to transmit the green light change to my brain, the driver of over sized SUV behind me was already laying on her horn. My first inclination was to show her that I knew how to count to one using only my most delicate finger. But I realized that I was bigger than that, besides she was too busy talking on her cellphone and slurping down a Marlboro to notice it anyway.

So this was on my mind as I braved the Wal Mart parking lot in the rain. This is a scary place anyway, the rain makes it almost like trying to find a parking space in Beirut. Inside the store was no better. Everyone goes around shopping like they are there to pick out their last meal. Accidentally cutting someone off with your cart is a capital offense. No one smiles, says excuse me, or thank you. Most are on the cellphone telling someone how much they hate their job,or their spouse, or yelling at their kids to stop running around so they can hear their B.F.F. on the phone.

At the check out line, the clerk rung up my stuff without even bothering to look up at me. She was obviously thinking about when her break was going to be, or where she was going to put her next tattoo. As I loaded my stuff trying not to trip over the kid lying on the floor screaming(apparently invisible to the Mom fighting with a clerk over the price of bananas), the same thought kept repeating over and over in my head. Why So Angry? Why So Angry?

What is it about life today that makes everyone so angry? I believe that it is our constant need for more. More money, more expensive stuff than our neighbors have, more more more. Today, very few seem to have that inner satisfaction of having what you want and wanting what you have. " My life will be so much better when I get a new car, or a new job, or a new outfit." It seems to me, that so many people are unsatisfied with their current lot in life , but unwilling to put in the work to fix it. Instead they seek the lightning in the bottle that will make everything turn into a fairyland. That in my opinion, is why the divorce rate is so high now a days. People get married or shack up and expect the subtitles to read "and they lived happily ever after." It doesn't work like that. In the words of Maroon 5 "Its not always rainbows and butterflies." The way you make it work is by committing yourself to your partner no matter what. Leaving is never an option, things might suck now, but they wont forever, right?

So my new life mission is to seek inner peace and satisfaction. To be able to be calm and happy on the inside, while the storms of the outside world beat down on my door. To be able to have what I want, with as little material possessions as possible. Am I searching for the Buddha, I don't know. But he is safer than Prozac right? Religion is fine if it brings you the peace and eliminates the hate. I don't know what the correct path is going to be. I think the point is that the process of searching for inner calm, is as important as actually finding it. I also know that the answer lies within me. It cannot be purchased on an easy payment plan, or found in the bottom of a bottle. No quick fix here. I may never fully reach the enlightenment I seek, but if I spend each day striving for it, it will not have been a wasted life.